


i was afraid, okay?

by thelocalmaniac



Series: Lucio Is Smitten [7]
Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gender Neutral Character, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Lucio's Route, Named MC, Other, Storybuilding, They/Them/Theirs Pronouns, spoilers for death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-14
Updated: 2020-02-14
Packaged: 2021-02-19 15:08:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22712722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelocalmaniac/pseuds/thelocalmaniac
Summary: Elodie finds out that they died. Lucio is very concerned about it.
Relationships: Apprentice & Lucio (The Arcana), Apprentice/Lucio (The Arcana)
Series: Lucio Is Smitten [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1520888
Kudos: 53





	i was afraid, okay?

As Elodie helped Lucio out of the ruins of Lazaret, their mind reeled. For his part Lucio was shooting them frequent, worried looks, waiting for them to boil over with their questions. His arm was slung over their shoulders and they bore much of his weight as he got used to the feeling of having the gravity of a real, alive body again.

There was so much they needed to talk about.

Now they were at the shop and Lucio was touching and looking at everything...and their mind was still a million miles away. _"I was afraid, okay?_ "It had been a frighteningly vulnerable thing for him to say, but that really should be the last of their worries, right? They had _died_. It explained how Muriel spoke as if he knew them. How Asra told them so little of their life before now lest they trigger any headaches, or why they couldn't remember any ritual, or why Death had called out to them in the Arcana. It explained why the neighbors had been so afraid of them for the first year. They were dead. They died of the plague. _I died of the plague._

"So...apparently I died." Lucio flinched, which was to be expected. He looked like he wanted to reach out to them but thought better of it. "That ghost in the Lazaret sounded just like me. It said _I_ died, and _you_ killed me." Elodie studied him, crossing their arms.

He was silent for a long moment, finally sitting still. Then, finally, he spoke. "It's the truth. But I didn't mean to kill you. There's more to it."

Elodie had half-expected him to deflect the question like he usually does. Masking their surprise, they shifted their weight from foot to foot before they sank into the chair next to him and leaned forward. "This sounds like a pretty long story," they said finally, gently, encouraging him to go onward with a slight inclination of their head.

Lucio heaved a dramatic sigh. "It all started a long time ago. Before I came to Vesuvia. You remember those beetles we saw? In that weird magic tundra?"

"The red beetles?" The small, beady, hard-shelled beetles, an angry crimson, climbing over them in swarms. A sea of scarlet up to their ankles, their knees, their _hips_. The Count looking purposefully away from them, face pinched with outrage, trying to shake himself free of them as the skies turned grey and stormy, the winds picking up and whipping their hair around, the creeping sense of foreboding churning in their stomach, hairs on end.

Yeah, that hadn't been great.

"Yeah. The thing is, they were real. They followed me everywhere I went. At first, I thought the beetles were just annoying pests. But wherever they showed up, the plague came with them." He scowled at a place over their shoulder, utterly unwilling to make eye contact. His eyes eyes were grey now, they noticed, instead of red from the plague, stinking of sickness. When he noticed Elodie was watching him, he sighed again.

Elodie was strangely unsurprised. Those beetles must have appeared in the magical realms for a reason. "So _you_ brought the beetles and the plague to Vesuvia?" they clarified, frowning.

"Er, I mean, they followed me, so--"

"Did you know what was happening?"

"No! Maybe? Sort of It was a guess. I just never...."

"Thought about it?" That was pretty on brand for the Lucio they knew.

"I tried not to. Until I got sick too." He shuddered. Unlike the rest of their friends, Lucio seemed to have all his memories in tact. How could he have guarded these memories so ruthlessly? _Why didn't he tell me earlier?_

The pieces slowed clicked together in their head, leading to one inexorable conclusion. "So when those ghosts were hounding you, and _my_ ghost said you killed me...." They trailed off, chest clenching.

His gaze shifted to the friend again. "I...you died of the plague, three years ago. You, and everyone else quarantined at the Lazaret." His eyes filled up with tears.

Three years ago...is that why they couldn't remember anything from before? Is it why people in the neighborhood looked at them so strangely, and whispered behind their hands? It sounds right to Elodie. It _feels_ right, like something they always knew but couldn't recall. And yet....

"Ugh, why is this so hard? Why do I feel so awful?" He wrung his hands, reaches out as if he wants to hug them, then pulls back again. "I mean--I feel bad, but you...you must feel terrible."

Elodie managed a small, strained smile. At least he's making an effort. "Well, it's not every day you learn that you died and came back." Their shallow attempt at humor fell flat.

"That's something we have in common, right? You're in good company!" He grins nervously, then flushes pink from head to toe when Elodie raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm not very good at this, but...I'm sorry, Elodie. You didn't deserve to die because of me. I don't know what else to say."

They were both quiet for some time. Lucio shifted around anxiously, trying to read the situation, while Elodie stared at their hands. This was more than what they had bargained for. But...they had sought out Lucio looking for answers, looking for the truth, and they had found them. What right did they have to not be happy about the findings? Besides, that had all happened to another person, a different body. Who knew if they had anything in common with that version of them at all? There was no point being hung up on the past. Of course, they needed to find out how they had come back to life, but that was a question for a different person. _I woke up in Asra's arms. They are the person with the answers I need._

"I forgive you."

"You..." Lucio opened his mouth, closed it, and blinked slowly. "..wait, what?" He stared at them.

With a soft, slightly hyserical laugh, they replied. "I said, I forgive you!" Elodie grasped his chin, lifting his eyes to meet their own, expression warm. "You apologized, and you said you wouldn't do it again. That's enough for me." For now, that would have to be enough.

He was quiet, a myriad of feelings crossing his face--first he was shock, then he pinkened, before smiling the softest of smiles. "...Thanks, Elodie. I won't screw this up. I promise."

Then his stomach growled and they focused on making food for awhile. These conversations could wait. After Lucio was enchanted by the stove salamander and Elodie made cookies on their own, the spent the rest of the day dancing and drinking with the rest of the Vesuvians. When they returned to the magic shop, Lucio was more than a little drunk and Elodie was exhausted from dancing. Lucio immediately fell on his face walking in the door after tripping over the doorstep while Elodie peeled off their shoes. They found themself smiling as he got up, grumbling and muttering and rubbing his nose. " _Fuck_ , that hurt, _ugh_ , Elo--"

"You knew me before I died, right?" The question popped into their head unbidden and was out of their mouth before they could even register what they had said. Elodie seemed baffled, as did the Count, before they both processed what had transpired.

Lucio swallowed. He got onto his knees so he could fix his gaze on them more easily. "I...yeah, I did." He seemed wary, as if he expected them to turn on him. Had everything they had said before been a lie? Were they about to take back their forgiveness? Why did he think things could be different, why would he--

"Can you tell me about it? And me?" His thoughts came to a halt, surprised by the direction this conversation had taken. They had approached, apparently thinking that he was too inebriated to get up on his own, scooping him up into their arms. Lucio let out a yell of surprise, grabbing them, before pretending to swoon, beaming. This was _much_ better. "So?"

"So what?" He slung his arms around their neck and pressed several sloppy kisses to their face.

"Can you tell me?" They seemed amused by his antics, returning his kiss with a kiss of their own, lips brushing his temple. "Like...um...oh. How did you know me?"

The ex-Count hummed, nuzzling his nose into the crook of their neck before answering. His voice was low and sleepy. "You were apprentice to Julian, actually, when we first met." Elodie stilled, shocked, and he paused before continuing. "You probably came to the Masquerades with Asra, but I didn't really know either of you yet. I knew that they were friends with the Scourge, but that was about it. I met them after your death, I think. But you were practicing medicine with Jules, and he was treating me for the plague. He stayed at the palace with Noddy and I, and you came after seeing his other patients nearly every day."

 _I was Julian's apprentice? So I knew him before now, then. That...I didn't expect that._ "Were we friends? You and I?" they asked, eyes wide.

"Not like we are now." Voice a mere whisper now, he snuggled closer in their arms as if their proximity would negate the truth of their shared past. Lucio couldn't imagine not having them in his corner now, after all of this. "We were friendly enough, I guess, but you were friends with Jules. I would hit on him and he didn't like it, so you would read my fortune and spend time with me so he could do work. He was so much more _sullen_ after you were gone. Guilty and all of that." _He didn't notice. If I'd known you better, I would have noticed._ "You were kind then, too. You listened to everything I said, even if it was stupid, or arrogant, or self-serving."

Elodie seemed pleased. They had carried him up the stairs, arms not even straining under his weight, and Lucio wondered if they had been holding out on him. "I bet we would have been friends if I'd been around longer," they said. Lucio wasn't so sure. He had spent so much of his time hurting their friends, the people they trusted--ruining the city against Nadia's wishes, blackmailing the Scourge of the South and Asra, feeding a plague beetle to Julian, and _they had died_. How had they taken their death in such a stride? Lucio had been between death and life for three _years_ and he had fought tooth and nail to come back to the world of the living. He still wasn't certain if this body qualified as being 'alive' or if it was something temporary. But Elodie had thought about it and decided that they saw something worthwhile in him anyway. He couldn't imagine why.

Lucio was lowered into a nest of pillows and blankets and he sighed happily. Elodie helped him out of his heeled boots, which was a relief, before pulling his clothes off him. He waggled his eyebrows at them. "Ooh, how _naughty_ , Elodie. I should have known you would want to do something like this tonight~"

They rolled their eyes. "No, I'm just going to put you into something more comfortable. D'you want your arm taken off, too?"

"My what?" Lucio sat up. Then he looked at his golden arm, realizing for the first time that it was there and heavy and real.

Elodie was looking at it too, eyes gleaming in the darkness, not understanding the issue yet. "What, do you wear it to bed?"

"Well, no...."

"Did you wear it with Nadia?" He mumbled something in response and they leaned forward, brow furrowed. "What was that?"

He draped his flesh arm over his eyes. "I said Nadia and I didn't sleep in the same bed. It was never an issue. We had a drunk-as-fuck wedding that neither of us remember and somehow inherited a kingdom together and she never wanted to do anything with me sober."

Oh. Elodie hadn't known that Nadia's coldness had extended so far as that. Lucio really _hadn't_ been loved by anyone in his life, had he? They pulled his arm away gently, holding his hand in two of their own. "You know I won't think less of you, right? It's your body, and I care about all of it. I just want you to be able to sleep comfortably." Especially now that he had a full body again and really needed sleep, Elodie didn't want him to have the golden arm chafing at his shoulder all night. It may have the magic of Asra's parents pulsing in it, but it was still just an automail arm, and extension of his body. Lucio eventually consented and once he was free of his clothes he instructed Elodie how to take it off. His gaze shifted away once the weight was lifted from him, not wanting to watch their expression turn to pity or disgust. He sucked in a breath when he felt a light kiss to the scarred stump of his arm, lost in a battle he could only partially remember, amputated by Julian Devorak himself. Lucio watched them move up to his shoulder, his neck, his jawline, then his mouth, and he melted into their touch and caress, unable to help smiling. Smiling so much that the kiss became quite difficult and Elodie broke away, laughing. "You're impossible."

"You're amazing," he declared, voice muffled by a baggy sort of nightshirt being pulled over his head. It was soft and comfortable, Elodie had been correct, though he was definitely too unsightly to be seen by anyone besides his little magician. Lucio got himself cozy under the quilts as Elodie also changed into something more comfortable, watching them undress without shame, admiring the curve of their ass and the muscle of their thighs and the sway of their hips. He wasn't even ashamed when they shot him a dry look before joining him under the covers, immediately throwing a leg over his and pulling him closer. Lucio practically _purred_ in delight. Had he really been this touch-starved all of this time? Touching them now, with this body, was very different than as a specter. This was better, _so_ much better, and he felt rejuvenated. Lucio never wanted to let go of them again.

If he had his way, he never would.

"Will you tell me more about my time spent in the palace with you sometime? It sort of bugs me that I can't remember you from before since I know you so well now." Elodie spoke, voice thick with sleep, nose nearly flattened against his chest.

Lucio smiled, cheek resting in their hair, amused and happy. "..Yeah. I can do that."


End file.
